Sense and Sensibility, #1 Social Rules That Effect Women!
Note: For some reason this did not post last week. So I am adding to it a bit. Sorry for the delay.
One of my favorite authors is Jane Austin. I did not like her all that much until A&E Pride and Prejudice came out. But then I was young! The more that I read her the more I can see the effects of the society that she lived in and the things that she wrote still hold true today. The judgement of women on women in the book and in our current environment are not that much different. But more important, it allows men to judge us based on how we judge each other.
Spoiler alert. If you have not read the book, then this post will spoil it. But you can read it free online and for Audio Book Lovers, Youtube. Don’t read past here or it will spoil it for you! This is one of several books that I listen to when driving. I know that story and I can drive without having to listen closely but still have some background noise to keep me going when things are not so exciting, i.e. driving through a major city in traffic and only seeing the car in front, back, and beside me.
Sense and Sensibility was Jane Austin’s first published book. A story of a two sisters who are different as night and day. One is sensible and follows her mind and the other is a emotional. As the book follows them as they fall in love and are broken hearted by their chooses but it does end on a happy ever after note. But I am more about the laws and the rules that put them in a position that still effects women today.
First Born Son
The opening chapters of the book show how women got into the position that we are in today. The opening talks about the Dashwood family as being well off and having been around several generations. The gentleman who owned the Estate never married as his sister keep house for him. Why would she keep house for him? Women of that time and class, i.e. upper class, came out between 15 to 19 years old. They had to get a husband. If they did not do so, then they became the burden of the head of household, i.e. the male member be it father, brother, uncle, cousin, etc. They lived on the charity of that head of household. That is if they were not throw out on the street.
Those family members could treat them any way they wanted too as women had few options in life except marriage and even that could fall apart. Divorce was not available or if it was then divorce usually meant that you got little or nothing. In addition, society shunned you and no respectable house would have you. Few if any jobs were open to them and they were a burden to the family who had to feed, clothe, and give them the basis necessaires of life.
The few jobs that were open to them would be companions or teachers to other rich peoples and/or their children. Only, they could be in a worst position as if any sandal touched them, they would not be able to find other jobs, i.e. many of the gentlemen of the houses would push a relationship with these women and she could do nothing about it as she would be the one that was found at fault. The women could be throw out of the house and left to the streets and without a proper letter of recommendation, they would not be able to find another job. This left them without a way to take care of themselves and many had to get lovers who would keep them, prostitution, or starve to death. Unless, their parents left them a living. This was also true of the maids, cooks, and other household female staff members but most of them did not have a parents to leave them any money.
Therefore, the gentleman’s sister became the female of the household who directed the staff on the meals, cleaning, giving sugar and other valuable spice out daily, etc. This might sound like no big deal but the fact is that running a household was not unlike running a hotel with a restaurant today. It was managing staff, approving staff hiring and firing, keeping a budget, making sure that food was on the table, keeping the children happy, counting the silver, ensuring guest were taken care of, overseeing the house cleaning and laundry, etc.
A small house would have 2 to 5 servants such as the Miss Dashwood’s and their mother took with them as they moved out of the Estate. But they were leaving the Estate which would have had at least the minimum of a cook, housekeeper, maid, butler, kitchen maid, and groomsman. But most Estates had between 20 to 50 household staff with extra staff coming in for parties and other large events. The women of these households had the Butler and the Housekeeper to direct the lower staff but in the end, she was still in charge of making sure things worked.
So, the gentleman’s unmarried sister took care of this for him. When she died, gentleman’s nephew was invited to come live with him and to bring his family, i.e. wife and three daughters, as he would be the next owner of the estate. This would be the two sisters that the story is about. The third sister is still young enough that she is not part of the “getting a husband”.
The gentleman dies and Mr. Dashwood, the girl’s father, inherits the house, land, and other assets but only with a lifetime interest. Mr. Dashwood dies about a year later; most of the assets, the title, and the house passes to their older half brother. The home that they know is no longer theirs and their brother is in charge of it as it passes to him. He in turn can throw them out. If the girl’s mother had died as well, then he would have also been in charge of his three sisters and they would have been under his protection and control as women were not allowed to have their own household unless widowed or older.
The reason that the title, land, and assets go to the oldest son is from past history of the European laws and customs. Without effective birth control, women could end up with a lot of children. Queen Victoria had 9 children with 5 girls and 4 boys in 17 years. Queen Victoria married off her daughters as part of political diplomacy. She married them to a former Governor of Canada, a few Princes, and to the German Emperor. Girls in these upper income families could be pushed into marriage as they could be thrown into the street if they choose not do marry the person that their parents choose for them, lock them in their rooms with bread and water, or all kinds of different and unpleasant things.
But the boys had a few chooses. If they were the first born, then they would get everything and only had to wait for their grandfather, father, uncle, or other male relative death. But the other sons would go into the church, military, or law as most professions were not open to them through society norms, i.e. they could not get their hands dirty. They had to be above the working class and stay gentleman as they could end up getting the everything as people died earlier from illness, bad water, not having a male relative, etc. The reason for a son and a spare. Girls were not really a joy to have until after a son was born.
Or if the sons were very lucky, the family had enough money that they would just get a bit of that or if the mother came from money, she might be able to give them some. The first born job was to have a son and pass everything to him. Depending on the wills, the first born son could have complete freedom to buy and sell things or it had to be held in trust for the next generations. (Note: a few lines allow for a female to get the title, assets, and lands, if a son is never happens. But this is rare and usually because they were from a King’s daughter line.)
The biggest reason that titles and lands past to the oldest son to oldest son was that you only have so much land. Europe was not that big of a place but had a large population. If you had 9 children like Queen Victoria, then she would have had to slice that land up into 9 separate pieces. If each of those 9 children had 9 children, then that land would have been sliced up into 81 pieces. If you think of a cake and you sliced it into 9 pieces everyone is full but if you slice that slice of cake into 9 addition pieces then everyone just gets a bite.
Land was power as clans turned into kingdoms and kingdoms into Empires. The oldest son would be in charge of the family and of all the people on the land that worked it. The farmers would give a part of their crops as rent. The land owners would become the head of state of the lands that he had and part of the governing body of the country. He would be judge and jury for disputes and he would be looked to when times were tough. In the medieval times, if he did not set aside enough for the tough times, there would be a revolt and a new family would come into power.
During the 1800s, this was not working as it once did as farming took a back seat to factories and other industries. But most of the top families sons were still not allowed to have real jobs to stay in their society because that was beneath them to have a job. A lot of American Heiress were married to European titles as the family wanted the title and the titled men needed the money to keep up the Estates. Daughters of wealthily, titled, and/or land owners were married to men in order to join lands and money keeping the upper society core small.
How does this effect women today?
In the U.S., married women were not allowed to own property, enter contracts, or even keep their own wages in New York State until 1848. It was not until 1900 that every state had the same laws that allowed women to have the same rights. Everything that a women owned or inherited was her husband’s. If you married a good man, then you might be ok. But if he was not. If you left him, then you left with nothing including the child(ren) as children were considered property.
If your husband died on you and you didn’t have a son. It was a good possibilities that you and/or your female children would have to leave the property as that would go to your husband’s brother or the next male member of the family. You would have to hope that he would take you in. This is true both in England and America at the time. If you stayed, then you were under their rule.
Women in America had a few more rights depending on the state that they lived in. When America was moving West, many women took the call to stake a claim without a husband. But these were not yet states but territories. But it was not until 1974, The Equal Credit Opportunity Act that women were allowed to get credit cards or a mortgage without a male cosigner in every state. In the 1970s and prior, employers would ask a women’s father, brother, or spouse if they were allowed to work. As at the time, a women’s father, brother, or spouse could and would go to an employer and pick up their check legally without the women’s permission.
Without the ability to have a mortgage, women did not have an option to create wealth as men did. They would have to rent a place, save money to buy a place, or inherit the money to get a house. But it was worse as women were also told that if they owned their own place, then a man would never marry them. I know that I was told this during the 80’s and 90’s. If you watch Sex in the City Season 4 Episode 16, this is a topic of conversation. I believe that this episode started to help women realize that things were changing and that they needed to change with them.
The laws that governed the society in Jane Austin’s book’s are still being felt today. The first son getting everything is still happening today. An example that I saw recently, I meet a women while traveling that was living in her van but has little else as she did not save for retirement. Now we can say that this was her fault as she should have been looking to the future. But the fact is, she did what women did in the past. She quit her job and her life to take care of her parents 15 years prior as her Dad got Alzheimer. She watched her Dad die then her mother over those 15 years. She lived in their house and took care of everything.
Only her brother was giving the checkbook and she had to get approval for all the shopping, bills, and other items that she needed to pay for in her parents household. He was very strict with how and what she could spend money on and how much was spent on food and other household items, i.e. she basically had to beg to get new shoes and other items for herself and her parents. She had to humble herself for small things. She said she was so thankful that he allowed her to get a person in for 4 hours a week so that she could do the shopping and other things for her mother after she could no longer leave her alone at the house.
After her mother died, her brother basically gave her 60 days to move out of the house. The will left everything to him as the oldest son with a small amount of cash and jewels going to her. She is only now realizing that her brother keep her as housekeeper and medical staff for her parents with just board and keep. He is getting several million dollars with the cash, stocks, house, etc. His strict control of the money help create this.
She was left out of the will for the most part because in the past, he would have been responsible for caring for her until she died or married. Her brother should have take care of her but he is choosing not too. She was lucky that she was giving the small amount of money that was left to her, i.e. she did not tell me how much but it sounded like 20k. She is now homeless and living in a van and trying to make understand how she got in this situation.
The only reason that she had the van was because it was bought and put in her name for transportation for her parents but her brother didn’t want the finance responsibility if she should be in an accident falling back on his parents. He resented that she did not want to sign it back to him and the small amount of things that were left to her including a small amount of cash and jewels, i.e. her mother wedding ring and a few small pieces. She seemed to be in shock and just overwhelmed when I meet her.
She did not know that she was giving up her life when she moved in to help. She thought that it would be for a short time, i.e. a few years. But 15 years later, and she does not have a relationship, the field that she worked in is not really an option to go back into as technologies have take over the area and she has been away from the field for so long, she did not have children from her marriage (they tried but it did not happen) and they divorced, plus she is several years away from having social security.
She tried to get a place but no one wanted to rent to her as she did not have employment or income plus her rental history was 15 years in the past. Without a place, she is trying to get a job but no one wanted to look at her as she does not have a house. She is living off delivering food and groceries and the small amount that was left to her. She is waiting for her social security to kick in but that is still a few years down the line. The problem is that if anything happens to the van, she will lose everything and that is not to far away. One accident. One major repair. Then she is homeless.
But this all comes back to the first son gets everything but in the past that gave you the responsibility to take care of the family especially the females of the family. This is shown a great deal in the first few chapters of this book. It is an underlining reality of what happens in today society even if we don’t realize it.
This effects women in so many areas. Although, we are changing things and more parents have been leaving equal amounts to all their children, this first born son has been an under current that effects women. The fact that women give up their time, money, and future for the good of the family is part of this. But the family once took care of the women that did this. It was an exchange. This is not the case any more.
I read some where, that women over 50 will be over 50% of the homeless population in the United States by 2030. By taking less for the same work (i.e. I was offered and accepted 25K for my first job, the man that had the position before me was making 50K with bonuses. 10 years of experience does not make up for an over 50% decrease in salary for a first time job), taking care and putting children or sick family members before careers (i.e. Blondie stopped her career to take care of her boyfriend who had cancer and never got back on the charts), being taught that the man will take care of you and not to save, and not being the first born to inherit the mass amount of assets, etc.
Women don’t have the same power to take care of themselves as men do. Things have gotten better but not equal. Women are still put in a position that is lower then men and it effects them financially throughout their lives. The number one cause would be this oldest male getting the bulk of the family inheritance which can be leverage into rental properties, money to pay off debt, and wealth.
In rereading Sense and Sensibility, I see that this “Oldest Male” rule effects how hard it is for women to create wealth for her future. Even if she marriages, she is still effected by this rule as her husband use to be in charge of that wealth which is also the reason that the “oldest male” was giving the money so that it did not move outside the family.
Next week, I will be talking about the #2 item that effects us.